The truth is something hard to know with lies, illusion, and acts of show. Even when it's in front of your eyes you doubt question and scrutinize. I'm afraid of knowing whats there yet I chase it,truth is worth knowing whether the it sets you free or turns you life into shit. Jumbled thoughts, and panic attacks screen my mind giving me commands that I won't like. Been Worried over things I lack to a Sex maniac , then a Schizophrenic , next an egomaniac as you've all seen . I have been each for the brief moment the truth touches my senses, and then sets in a the cold logic menace.

I can fix it, I can accept it, just let me be sad until I can reach that peak.

Happiness

Such a Tricky thing it is..When one has it, one pushes it away.
I've recently made some mistakes, Because I was afraid of losing my happiness and reacted to the fear and therefore Jeopardized it.
I'm sorry..
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People

Don't appreciate OTHER people anymore..We're all just bumbling around using one another for various reasons until said usefulness has dried up, then we move on to the next person and absorb all we can.
This, is modern Loyalty.

However...I don't judge everyone to be the cold hearted Political animal that humanity has generalized itself into... Because I've met quite a few people with the mental illness known as civility, and I love these people and the way they think.
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The World isn't so bad..


Every decade or so... The World faces some kind of disaster that we've all caused, bringing some sort of doom and gloom upon us all.. ending all human life filling us with fear of what is to come.

Every decade or so... The World advances and creates solutions and problems for humanity to deal with in the far future, and the current generation always claims to be better than any that has ever or will ever exist... each have it's contributions to humanity, and each get written in the history books.

So the world goes on, decade by decade filling in some pages for some temporary inhabitants..
We're here, and we're going to do what we're going to do... some ideas spread like wildfire, some are very slow in catching on, and some are seen as insane.
But.. The thing life has going for it is happiness.. and once you've found it, Cling on to it for dear fucking life.. don't let it fade with the decade, Don't let it become some Page in a history book, just let it be yours.. and forever yours alone, and let others be happy at the thought of your possession... Let Love and friendship bring you this prize, don't force it or it's only temporary, but never abuse it or it will go sour and spoil into regret.

Thats The lesson I've learned
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I love you Natasha.

Sitting in the dark alone rapping on a keyboard to people I don't really know I fell in love, and then she set the tone. Back then I was just happy to be on the phone because she was from Jersey, and I? Well I'm from the poor valley below. I never expected to actually MEET her, and She didn't either....
Although.
She was looking for a Higher education, and I was intrigued at her choice of location..
----
Now she lives in PA
And were together still today
Starting slow and all that shit
Were learning bit by bit
That it doesn't matter
-
Just be for the one you love
All those stigmas are kind of
Stupid
-
All they'll do is hold you back
Cage you up until you crack
You must make up for what they lack
And just be happy
-----
What's Stranger than how we met is the impression that you'd get if I told you about our first encounter. We said our nervous hellos and then some confidence arose...So I held her.
-----
Then the fog rose on the glass
and that image from my past
will remain in my mind
until I'm far and past my time
and immortal in this rhyme
About her
----
We've all heard enough of these love songs, these sappy lies that hypnotize making our lives seem weaved with wrongs, empty in so many ways, In our grave we'll all lay without Knowing.
-
But let me tell you my dear friend Living in one is much different

You've Taken her heart
But now you must Part
She must give her pain to another
And now you're alone
No place to call home
With only a Whore for a mother

Your Life fell apart
And now you must start
To share the weight with your brother
He's been worried to bone
And now you have shown
That you're in need of some other

You took it lightly when you had control
You cloistered tightly when it came to your soul
Now tears of Regret, they roll down your chin
She doesn't deserve them

She ran around with other guys
Admitted openly
She thought it Moral, compared to disguise
That reasoning don't settle with me

Man, She isn't worth it
Have some pride
She didn't commit
And then she lied

Get a hold of yourself

Of course not.. But I am however being asked to update this silly thing which I suppose, despite my better judgement is totally worth my time.
-
So, I have found a girl which actually enjoys my company... perhaps it's because she is oblivious to half the things I'm saying..(I tend to rabble a good bit), and no it isn't because she is ignoring me, She's Deaf.

Yes, she cannot hear my velvety voice, my brilliant accent, my booming Baratone! even without this She Likes me, not that elegance in language makes chicks wet or anything....
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In other news... I've been pumping out original Short stories like mad within the last few days, along with afew fragmented songs which will some day be in completion. Here's a taste,
-=-

It's been  Pretty Slow here, I've got to say
I read in the paper somone died far away

Noone to blame yet
Who's holding the gun?

Only people Pointing Fingers,
And others claiming they've Won

And the Politicians
They Remove their claws

Wet their tired Lips And,
Wait for applause

All they hear is silence
So they start to Debate

You hear some pleasant words But,
They Disguise the hate

=

Out in the Desert
Only the chief knows where

He is no expert
and he doesn't care

Here things are Different
Life is being forced to live

Were Waiting for Judgement
From the Gracious Pig
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Praise;
Please See Satire page 244